Know Truth

Trust- in HIS Timing, Rely-on HIS Promises, Wait-for HIS Answers, Believe-in HIS Miracles, Rejoice-in HIS Goodness, Relax-in HIS Presence... Come near to God and He will come near to you. James 4:8

Monday, April 7, 2008

Who am i?

recently diagnosed with a mental illness i am learning to walk with Jesus in this Truth. so long i have been hiding- afraid- in darkness... mental illness is so often confused with someone being 'bad' or 'weird'... instead of truthfully being an illness. like diabetes. i have a mental disorder my brain does not cooperate with my heart and without medication my brain manages to wig out causing emotions to rail and anxiety to peak... (family life gets pretty sticky when you can't stand yourself) shame has kept me from talking and still does to some extent about my illness- yet it is so needful for people who struggle with a mental illness to know that others struggle as well and that Jesus cares... and can walk us into the Light if we are willing to humble ourselves and receive help...He is our all and all...our everything and He longs to be welcomed into our hurts and fears... so He can set us free....

Being a christian doesn't mean perfection or being free from pain and suffering... but it does mean having the Creator of the universe on your side.. and if He is for you who can stand against you and win? and as far as being perfect- no way that will happen this side of heaven but that was never the point of Christ coming- that is the beauty of grace- grace whispers, "you are forgiven, you are loved" when we/i am utterly unlovable and as prickly as a porcupine... who am i to deserve to be called a christian and identified with the King of Kings...? no one special and yet He readily calls me Beloved and calls me His Girl unashamedly. in moments when i am particularly ugly and unchristian like is when i am most aware of the unmistakingly amazing love of God.

i abide in Your Grace,
forever i will remain in Your hands
not by works or by might
not by intelectual knowledge
but by Your blood shed for me
on the Cross
my life you bought..
purchased -
payed for
i belong to You
You are the Key Bearer-
You have full access to my heart...
i love you Lord...
i am Your Beloved and You are mine...

2 comments:

Amy said...

Hey Jessica :) I was so excited to see you on the world of blogging! It has been too long since we have seen each other!

I just want to offer some words of love and encouragement from someone else who struggles with the same. It is extremely hard to come out of hiding but know you are not alone...first and foremost from our adoring father and then also from your friends who have and still are experiencing the same struggle. I am hear to talk ANY time :)

Sending lots of hugs your way :) Keep up the great blogging too!

Mindy said...

my querida...tu tienes una hermana quien comprende todo. si tu necesitas hablar conmigo entonces llamame!! tengo una cita en el cafe manana...espero que verte

con much carino!!!

Worship Him