as a result of being human- experience & mental illness i am no stranger to fear... nor are any of us- i am not afraid of any one thing- but many... fear of living and failing, fear of losing the love of those i hold dear, fear of missing the mark and messing up - letting God down cause i can't keep it together... these are sure to pass at one time or another in my life's journey... cause i cannot work hard enough to keep successes sure- i cannot avoid the pain of failure or of a relationship that has changed- i cannot ever meet the perfect standard of the law-man made or divine
in reality i am forced to realize my absolute inability to be 'good enough' and to trust MY SAVIOR for Grace...
His Wholeness in exchange for my brokenness- His Provision in exchange for my lack- His Strength for my weakness- His Rest for my turbulence- Soundness for chaos and so on... my fear for His Love.
if my relationship with God is based on anything 'cept HIS ability... it ceases to be a relationship based on Grace and becomes religion... religion asks, "what must i do- how do i fix this or that?" faith says, "thank you for all you've done and do- i trust You to do what i cannot, to teach me and lead me and guide me in ways that i do not know-show me Your Ways"
religion- which is driven by fear... says, "how can i be sure i have done enough to earn favor, to be saved. I don't know for sure so i must do more." ... this mentality leads men to slavery.
faith in God says, "i can never do enough so i will cease in my efforts and trust YOUR work- I will do what You want as You show me."
do i trust, then fear is driven out bit by bit and replaced with LOVE... as i get to Know the One who Loves me and is called LOVE
the secret is learning to surrender more and more of myself (fears and all) to the One who can keep me... in peace and rest and to trust that WHO He IS is MORE than ENOUGH for me...
"Some christians want to be slaves. It is easier to let others make decisions or to rely upon the letter of the law...
The kingdom of God is a kingdom of freedom. Jesus invites and challenges us to enter this kingdom, to walk the royal road of freedom to be set free by the Father's love. He calls ragamuffins everywhere to freedom from fear of death, freedom from fear of life and freedom from anxiety over salvation." Brennan Manning, Ragamuffin Gospel
"Desperate I throw myself on you-you r my God
hour by hour i place my days in your hands...
God takes care of those who stay close to Him
but pays back in full those arrogant enough to go at it alone."
Ps. 31:14- The Message
do we throw ourselves onto the Lord and let Him carry us or do we try and go at it alone...
when i catch myself saying, 'i can do this' .. then i need to remind myself, 'no, i can't. God can. He is on my side. so i can do all things...
i am not alone. Love is here. Emanuel, God IS with me.
Monday, April 14, 2008
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