The life of faith in Christ is marked by sacrifice, separation and satisfaction...
Oswald Chambers
Let's come out and be separate from everyone/thing's influence and be TRUE TO GOD!
Let's sacrifice-ourselves, gifting ourselves, our life, to God in perfect WHOLLY surrender
Let's be FULL and satisfied- filled with the fullness of God.
Be Lord of all in my life
the willing gift of my heart i bring
in Your hands, forever, i will remain
You are my everything
Oh-sweet satisfaction
to be held in Your hands
where my name is tattooed
my heart is made new
my mind renewed
Jesus i have come out and
am separated- consecrated to You!
Be satisfied i pray
with the sacrifice of self
i bring
tis my humble offering
receive my life
my Love
my Lord
and
be glorified
be magnified
O may the world see the wonder of You
let all watch and be amazed
as You take the pieces of little ole messed up me...
and weave a one of a kind tapestry
behold-Your imprint upon Your MASTER piece, Your promise
in You, i trust,
in YOU i believe
inspite of myself
my failures
my blunders
my many faults
i will watch as You work on me
from the inside out
what were once ashes
will be beautiful indeed
unspoken treasure
and untold seed...
i love YOU Lord
only You can make beauty from ashes
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friends
i went to see my sweet friend michelle this weekend-
(she is a totally gifted psalmist and an artist you can find her work under KNOW HIM: michelle: remembermejewelry.com)
my weekend was wonderful the beauty of my friend, like balm on my soul...
what did we do?
truth be told most of our time was spent in Michelle's room ... the secret sanctuary away from the sounds of her five children (all of whom are truly a treasure) ...
in the sanctuary we talked and she played the guitar...
and we sang together...
we took a walk...in the snow...
we ate...lots of salad!
we took communion and
michelle shared words the Father had spoken to her from the Bible...
she told me the Lord had given these words to her as an encouragement...
and she was giving them to me to encourage me ....
she suggested i insert my name accordingly in the Bible verses thus making God's words personal to me,
to my heart....
Isaiah 41:14-16 says:
"do you feel like a lowly worm, Jessi?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragil insect, Jessi?
I want to help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
I'm transforming you from worm to harrow,
from insect to iron.
As a sharp toothed harrow you'll smooth out the mountains,
turn those tough old hills to loamy soil.
You'll open the rough ground to weather,
to the blasts of sun and wind and rain.
But you will be confident and exuberant
expansive in the Holy of Israel!"
these words touched my soul and refreshed me...
they remind me that mental illness isn't the end of the road ...
and that God is more than enough for me....
even when my mind is in chaos...
and panic seizes my emotions God STILLS me...
and comforts me...
this weekend i was reminded that only GOd can make me ALL right... only God can chase away the crazies and the boogieman in my mind...
and that He will if i let Him.
o Lord teach me to live from my spirit...
where Your words are clearly spoken to my heart...
where fears and sorrow flee...
where my cries by Your Love are stilled...
speak O Lord to my soul
teach me how to live in the rhythm of Your Grace
in Your mercy melody Your radiance is shown...
how i need Your comforting embrace to fill my God shaped hole...
anxiety, tension
devilish oppression
in my mind there's WWF wrestling
a mixed up puzzle
thats never to be done
But You burst through the chaos....
with Your Light you break through...
i am not lost
my hope is renewed
Come Lord Jesus, fill me afresh
let Your Spirit a HOLY deluge upon me set.
to You alone will i cleave...
Your larger than life hands that hold me, i will never leave...
You are mine...
i am Yours...
nothing can change that or separate me from Your love...
in Your presence all striving has ceased
called by my Lover to everlasting peace
...
as the sun sets and the morning star rises...
with healing in His wings
forever ...
until time has no end
You will call me,
"My girl."
and i will call You
"My Beloved."
(she is a totally gifted psalmist and an artist you can find her work under KNOW HIM: michelle: remembermejewelry.com)
my weekend was wonderful the beauty of my friend, like balm on my soul...
what did we do?
truth be told most of our time was spent in Michelle's room ... the secret sanctuary away from the sounds of her five children (all of whom are truly a treasure) ...
in the sanctuary we talked and she played the guitar...
and we sang together...
we took a walk...in the snow...
we ate...lots of salad!
we took communion and
michelle shared words the Father had spoken to her from the Bible...
she told me the Lord had given these words to her as an encouragement...
and she was giving them to me to encourage me ....
she suggested i insert my name accordingly in the Bible verses thus making God's words personal to me,
to my heart....
Isaiah 41:14-16 says:
"do you feel like a lowly worm, Jessi?
Don't be afraid.
Feel like a fragil insect, Jessi?
I want to help you.
I, God, want to reassure you.
The God who buys you back, The Holy of Israel.
I'm transforming you from worm to harrow,
from insect to iron.
As a sharp toothed harrow you'll smooth out the mountains,
turn those tough old hills to loamy soil.
You'll open the rough ground to weather,
to the blasts of sun and wind and rain.
But you will be confident and exuberant
expansive in the Holy of Israel!"
these words touched my soul and refreshed me...
they remind me that mental illness isn't the end of the road ...
and that God is more than enough for me....
even when my mind is in chaos...
and panic seizes my emotions God STILLS me...
and comforts me...
this weekend i was reminded that only GOd can make me ALL right... only God can chase away the crazies and the boogieman in my mind...
and that He will if i let Him.
o Lord teach me to live from my spirit...
where Your words are clearly spoken to my heart...
where fears and sorrow flee...
where my cries by Your Love are stilled...
speak O Lord to my soul
teach me how to live in the rhythm of Your Grace
in Your mercy melody Your radiance is shown...
how i need Your comforting embrace to fill my God shaped hole...
anxiety, tension
devilish oppression
in my mind there's WWF wrestling
a mixed up puzzle
thats never to be done
But You burst through the chaos....
with Your Light you break through...
i am not lost
my hope is renewed
Come Lord Jesus, fill me afresh
let Your Spirit a HOLY deluge upon me set.
to You alone will i cleave...
Your larger than life hands that hold me, i will never leave...
You are mine...
i am Yours...
nothing can change that or separate me from Your love...
in Your presence all striving has ceased
called by my Lover to everlasting peace
...
as the sun sets and the morning star rises...
with healing in His wings
forever ...
until time has no end
You will call me,
"My girl."
and i will call You
"My Beloved."
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Nancy drew and the real fake is adout............
When Bess and George dare nancy to try out for the reality TV show called Mystery Solved!, But she never thought shed get picked. The next thing she new she was of to Paris to start the shoot. All the sudden she was getting creepy e mails from a strange address. Will she go on the with the mystery or not?
I want to read more. So far I'v read 70 pages.
love jaque
I want to read more. So far I'v read 70 pages.
love jaque
Monday, April 14, 2008
Freedom from Fear
as a result of being human- experience & mental illness i am no stranger to fear... nor are any of us- i am not afraid of any one thing- but many... fear of living and failing, fear of losing the love of those i hold dear, fear of missing the mark and messing up - letting God down cause i can't keep it together... these are sure to pass at one time or another in my life's journey... cause i cannot work hard enough to keep successes sure- i cannot avoid the pain of failure or of a relationship that has changed- i cannot ever meet the perfect standard of the law-man made or divine
in reality i am forced to realize my absolute inability to be 'good enough' and to trust MY SAVIOR for Grace...
His Wholeness in exchange for my brokenness- His Provision in exchange for my lack- His Strength for my weakness- His Rest for my turbulence- Soundness for chaos and so on... my fear for His Love.
if my relationship with God is based on anything 'cept HIS ability... it ceases to be a relationship based on Grace and becomes religion... religion asks, "what must i do- how do i fix this or that?" faith says, "thank you for all you've done and do- i trust You to do what i cannot, to teach me and lead me and guide me in ways that i do not know-show me Your Ways"
religion- which is driven by fear... says, "how can i be sure i have done enough to earn favor, to be saved. I don't know for sure so i must do more." ... this mentality leads men to slavery.
faith in God says, "i can never do enough so i will cease in my efforts and trust YOUR work- I will do what You want as You show me."
do i trust, then fear is driven out bit by bit and replaced with LOVE... as i get to Know the One who Loves me and is called LOVE
the secret is learning to surrender more and more of myself (fears and all) to the One who can keep me... in peace and rest and to trust that WHO He IS is MORE than ENOUGH for me...
"Some christians want to be slaves. It is easier to let others make decisions or to rely upon the letter of the law...
The kingdom of God is a kingdom of freedom. Jesus invites and challenges us to enter this kingdom, to walk the royal road of freedom to be set free by the Father's love. He calls ragamuffins everywhere to freedom from fear of death, freedom from fear of life and freedom from anxiety over salvation." Brennan Manning, Ragamuffin Gospel
"Desperate I throw myself on you-you r my God
hour by hour i place my days in your hands...
God takes care of those who stay close to Him
but pays back in full those arrogant enough to go at it alone."
Ps. 31:14- The Message
do we throw ourselves onto the Lord and let Him carry us or do we try and go at it alone...
when i catch myself saying, 'i can do this' .. then i need to remind myself, 'no, i can't. God can. He is on my side. so i can do all things...
i am not alone. Love is here. Emanuel, God IS with me.
in reality i am forced to realize my absolute inability to be 'good enough' and to trust MY SAVIOR for Grace...
His Wholeness in exchange for my brokenness- His Provision in exchange for my lack- His Strength for my weakness- His Rest for my turbulence- Soundness for chaos and so on... my fear for His Love.
if my relationship with God is based on anything 'cept HIS ability... it ceases to be a relationship based on Grace and becomes religion... religion asks, "what must i do- how do i fix this or that?" faith says, "thank you for all you've done and do- i trust You to do what i cannot, to teach me and lead me and guide me in ways that i do not know-show me Your Ways"
religion- which is driven by fear... says, "how can i be sure i have done enough to earn favor, to be saved. I don't know for sure so i must do more." ... this mentality leads men to slavery.
faith in God says, "i can never do enough so i will cease in my efforts and trust YOUR work- I will do what You want as You show me."
do i trust, then fear is driven out bit by bit and replaced with LOVE... as i get to Know the One who Loves me and is called LOVE
the secret is learning to surrender more and more of myself (fears and all) to the One who can keep me... in peace and rest and to trust that WHO He IS is MORE than ENOUGH for me...
"Some christians want to be slaves. It is easier to let others make decisions or to rely upon the letter of the law...
The kingdom of God is a kingdom of freedom. Jesus invites and challenges us to enter this kingdom, to walk the royal road of freedom to be set free by the Father's love. He calls ragamuffins everywhere to freedom from fear of death, freedom from fear of life and freedom from anxiety over salvation." Brennan Manning, Ragamuffin Gospel
"Desperate I throw myself on you-you r my God
hour by hour i place my days in your hands...
God takes care of those who stay close to Him
but pays back in full those arrogant enough to go at it alone."
Ps. 31:14- The Message
do we throw ourselves onto the Lord and let Him carry us or do we try and go at it alone...
when i catch myself saying, 'i can do this' .. then i need to remind myself, 'no, i can't. God can. He is on my side. so i can do all things...
i am not alone. Love is here. Emanuel, God IS with me.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Joshua's Dream
I had a good dream. My dream was about pirates. The captain of the pirate’s ship was hurt badly. He was dying. He had a map. Before he died he gave it to me. It was a treasure map. I was excited!
I took his ship and became its captain. The ship was called the “white crater.” We began to search for the the treasure shown on the map. I saw another ship in the water. The ship was dark with black sails. I heard the captain of the other ship say, “Let’s fight!” I told my crew, “Prepare the cannons!” As we got closer I looked and saw on the other ship that the pirates were goblins. Now, I was so scared. We had a long fight. It lasted four hours. We finally won the battle.
Soon we found land. The land was rocky. Our crew used the map to find the treasure. It was very hard to find, it took us four days. We thought we would never return back to our wives. Then we found a big faded X on a large mountain. We had to look closely to see it. We knocked on a rock and a box opened to show the treasure. It was a gold! It was easy to split it between the 20 people left in the crew.
Next we set sails for home. There where two paths to take. I took the wrong one. A month went by until we realized it was a dead end. Already our food was running out. My crew screamed,” Arghh!” They took their swords and pointed them at me. I said, “Wait! I have an idea.” This looked familiar. I took a cannon ball and blew all the rocks out of the way. We were surprised to be back near home. Then- I woke up!
I took his ship and became its captain. The ship was called the “white crater.” We began to search for the the treasure shown on the map. I saw another ship in the water. The ship was dark with black sails. I heard the captain of the other ship say, “Let’s fight!” I told my crew, “Prepare the cannons!” As we got closer I looked and saw on the other ship that the pirates were goblins. Now, I was so scared. We had a long fight. It lasted four hours. We finally won the battle.
Soon we found land. The land was rocky. Our crew used the map to find the treasure. It was very hard to find, it took us four days. We thought we would never return back to our wives. Then we found a big faded X on a large mountain. We had to look closely to see it. We knocked on a rock and a box opened to show the treasure. It was a gold! It was easy to split it between the 20 people left in the crew.
Next we set sails for home. There where two paths to take. I took the wrong one. A month went by until we realized it was a dead end. Already our food was running out. My crew screamed,” Arghh!” They took their swords and pointed them at me. I said, “Wait! I have an idea.” This looked familiar. I took a cannon ball and blew all the rocks out of the way. We were surprised to be back near home. Then- I woke up!
Nancy Drew,The clue in the old album....
I read the story, The Clue in the Old Album by Carolyn Keene. the story was about Nancy Drew. She was a tall girl. She was also good looking and smart. Nancy had cousins named Bess and George.They helped her solve mysteries. Ned was a very close friend.
Two of Nancy's friends, Mrs. Sluther, and her granddaughter, Rose, had lots of dolls. Some were Asian, others were Italian. One day Nancy was admiring a doll with a sword. The doll’s sword poked her and before she knew it she had fainted and a doctor was there. The doll had poisoned her!The DR. said that Nancy should sleep and that's just what she did. The next day Mrs. Sluther found that two of her dolls were missing! The only clue they had was that Nancy had seen a charcoal black car with a gypsy symbol on the tire that was speeding away.
The next day Ned and Nancy went to a fair. Nancy saw a poster that read “gypsy wedding tickets 10$ each”. Nancy didn’t hesitate for she knew that the people who stole Mrs. Sluther’s dolls were Gypsies with a charcoal black car. And there it was, the charcoal black car! Nancy thought it weird that a Gypsy would have a car. At the wedding Nancy saw that the priest was giving a doll out. But it wasn't Mrs.Sluther’s doll. She caught the names of two of the gypsies. They were Neaka and Atomn.
The next day she followed them to the gypsy camp. Before she knew it she was in a trailer with a hanky around her mouth. They had given her a sleeping drug! The trailor came to a violent stop-and her dad barged in with the police. Neaka and Atomn were captured for stealing in the past and kidnaping Nancy. The police also found Mrs Sluther’s dolls. They gave them back to her. She and Rose were happy to have the dolls back safely.
I like this story because it has adventure. I also like mysteries which this is. I will keep reading the Nancy Drew series!
Two of Nancy's friends, Mrs. Sluther, and her granddaughter, Rose, had lots of dolls. Some were Asian, others were Italian. One day Nancy was admiring a doll with a sword. The doll’s sword poked her and before she knew it she had fainted and a doctor was there. The doll had poisoned her!The DR. said that Nancy should sleep and that's just what she did. The next day Mrs. Sluther found that two of her dolls were missing! The only clue they had was that Nancy had seen a charcoal black car with a gypsy symbol on the tire that was speeding away.
The next day Ned and Nancy went to a fair. Nancy saw a poster that read “gypsy wedding tickets 10$ each”. Nancy didn’t hesitate for she knew that the people who stole Mrs. Sluther’s dolls were Gypsies with a charcoal black car. And there it was, the charcoal black car! Nancy thought it weird that a Gypsy would have a car. At the wedding Nancy saw that the priest was giving a doll out. But it wasn't Mrs.Sluther’s doll. She caught the names of two of the gypsies. They were Neaka and Atomn.
The next day she followed them to the gypsy camp. Before she knew it she was in a trailer with a hanky around her mouth. They had given her a sleeping drug! The trailor came to a violent stop-and her dad barged in with the police. Neaka and Atomn were captured for stealing in the past and kidnaping Nancy. The police also found Mrs Sluther’s dolls. They gave them back to her. She and Rose were happy to have the dolls back safely.
I like this story because it has adventure. I also like mysteries which this is. I will keep reading the Nancy Drew series!
2 Know Him is Real Life
"...this is the real and eternal life:
That they know you,
The one and only true God,
And Jesus Christ, whom you sent. "
John 17:3
Messsage
Knowing Jesus, and the Father through Him, is real- and eternal life.
God is more than the sum total of what He has done..
He not only loves us -
He is LOVE
He not only speaks truth-
He is TRUTH
not only does Christ make the way to the Father-
He is the WAY
Not only does He provide nourishment to our spirits-
He is LIVING BREAD AND WATER poured out for US
Not only does He speak to us in the Bible-
HE IS THE WORD MADE FLESH
Not only does He require sacrifice-
HE IS THE LAMB SLAIN FROM THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD
He put Himself on the altar and HE IS THE SACRIFICE...
Who is God to you?
A loving awesome Friend and Father...
Lover and Teacher or
just an idea out there somewhere...?
Knowing Christ is of utmost importance - it is vital to our beings...
because KNOWING HIM EXPERIENTIALLY is REAL- ETERNAL LIFE
whether we know it or not we have a God shaped void that only He can fill...
we must feed on HIm- His Words
and only He can reveal Himself as we spend time with Him...
'KNOW ME & LIVE' beckons the Lord...
do not harden your heart today...
Let's worship God for who He is-He Himself is worthy
"God's people passionately and faithfully STAND their ground." Revelations 13:10
reveal your awesome self to me & us O Lord
i ask you humbly Lord
not because we are so deserving of the revelation of YOURSELF
but because YOU are WiLLiNg and DESIRE for us to KNOW YOU AND LIVE!
AmEn.
Jessi
That they know you,
The one and only true God,
And Jesus Christ, whom you sent. "
John 17:3
Messsage
Knowing Jesus, and the Father through Him, is real- and eternal life.
God is more than the sum total of what He has done..
He not only loves us -
He is LOVE
He not only speaks truth-
He is TRUTH
not only does Christ make the way to the Father-
He is the WAY
Not only does He provide nourishment to our spirits-
He is LIVING BREAD AND WATER poured out for US
Not only does He speak to us in the Bible-
HE IS THE WORD MADE FLESH
Not only does He require sacrifice-
HE IS THE LAMB SLAIN FROM THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD
He put Himself on the altar and HE IS THE SACRIFICE...
Who is God to you?
A loving awesome Friend and Father...
Lover and Teacher or
just an idea out there somewhere...?
Knowing Christ is of utmost importance - it is vital to our beings...
because KNOWING HIM EXPERIENTIALLY is REAL- ETERNAL LIFE
whether we know it or not we have a God shaped void that only He can fill...
we must feed on HIm- His Words
and only He can reveal Himself as we spend time with Him...
'KNOW ME & LIVE' beckons the Lord...
do not harden your heart today...
Let's worship God for who He is-He Himself is worthy
"God's people passionately and faithfully STAND their ground." Revelations 13:10
reveal your awesome self to me & us O Lord
i ask you humbly Lord
not because we are so deserving of the revelation of YOURSELF
but because YOU are WiLLiNg and DESIRE for us to KNOW YOU AND LIVE!
AmEn.
Jessi
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
The Cross
"Christianity happens when men and women accept with unwavering trust that their sins have not only been forgiven but forgotten, washed by he blood of the Lamb... There is an existential connection between experiencing God, loving God and trusting God...The cross is the CONFRONTATION with the overwhelming goodness of God revealed in the broken body of His ONLY begotten Son." Brennan Manning, Ragamuffin Gospel
"More pleasing to me than all your prayers, works and penances is that you would believe that I LOVE YOU."
Jesus
Do we believe that we are loved by God- does His love undo us?
Is His love enough to satisfy us-of course, but do we let it?
These questions should challenge us to the core; knocking off religious piety...
begging the attention of our heart...
Do we let HIm love on US or are we to busy trying to prove to Him our love or earn His?
personally, if i am honest, i struggle with turning to anything but Jesus when i need Him most...
nighttime is the worst
at night sleep comes with difficulty...
i begin to get anxious because of a physiological surge of chemicals about 3 0 clock in the afternoon anticipating late night loneliness... when everyone is quiet and able to sleep and i am alone...
or am i?
Jesus has promised He will never leave me or forsake me so it stands to reason that He is there with me in the anxiety-fear and loneliness beckoning me as He always does, "Come away with me Beloved...Do not hide from me, run to me. My love will make you whole."
most recently i have struggled with wanting to drink at night to ease the anxiety- i know that only one, maybe two, will help me sleep.. and yet my soul testifies that i should not and my spirit cries out to Jesus... HE does not come and lift me out of the anxiety- He doesn't appear to me in a vision... but He gently reminds me who i am - and who He is... and that this too shall pass...His love encircles me and whispers YOU ARE ACCEPTED-YOU ARE LOVED
in part that anxiety is why i started blogging- to help pass time, lonely time... i also read... the Bible-yes but also christian fiction... Ted Deker is fabulous, and i am working on a puzzle... the Doc told me embroidery is good- i'll try that too...
but no matter what i DO the challenge is to not take matters into my hands- but to instead remember that Christ is WITH me and then ask Him what would be best, if anything to do... He won't answer audibly - i don't think:) but usually through a still small nudge in a certain direction- if i do just that - then i have come to KNOW Him more and my intimacy with Him grows...
not because i have chosen what is most 'holy' but because i have chosen to follow the Holy One... and allowed Him to put healing balm on my soul through a whisper to my heart.
Do we trust Him? Then let us turn to Him with all our hearts- He is there arms stretched out waiting...
The Cross a perfect picture of our loving God arms outstretched waiting to embrace ME and YOU.
Shalom
Jessi
"More pleasing to me than all your prayers, works and penances is that you would believe that I LOVE YOU."
Jesus
Do we believe that we are loved by God- does His love undo us?
Is His love enough to satisfy us-of course, but do we let it?
These questions should challenge us to the core; knocking off religious piety...
begging the attention of our heart...
Do we let HIm love on US or are we to busy trying to prove to Him our love or earn His?
personally, if i am honest, i struggle with turning to anything but Jesus when i need Him most...
nighttime is the worst
at night sleep comes with difficulty...
i begin to get anxious because of a physiological surge of chemicals about 3 0 clock in the afternoon anticipating late night loneliness... when everyone is quiet and able to sleep and i am alone...
or am i?
Jesus has promised He will never leave me or forsake me so it stands to reason that He is there with me in the anxiety-fear and loneliness beckoning me as He always does, "Come away with me Beloved...Do not hide from me, run to me. My love will make you whole."
most recently i have struggled with wanting to drink at night to ease the anxiety- i know that only one, maybe two, will help me sleep.. and yet my soul testifies that i should not and my spirit cries out to Jesus... HE does not come and lift me out of the anxiety- He doesn't appear to me in a vision... but He gently reminds me who i am - and who He is... and that this too shall pass...His love encircles me and whispers YOU ARE ACCEPTED-YOU ARE LOVED
in part that anxiety is why i started blogging- to help pass time, lonely time... i also read... the Bible-yes but also christian fiction... Ted Deker is fabulous, and i am working on a puzzle... the Doc told me embroidery is good- i'll try that too...
but no matter what i DO the challenge is to not take matters into my hands- but to instead remember that Christ is WITH me and then ask Him what would be best, if anything to do... He won't answer audibly - i don't think:) but usually through a still small nudge in a certain direction- if i do just that - then i have come to KNOW Him more and my intimacy with Him grows...
not because i have chosen what is most 'holy' but because i have chosen to follow the Holy One... and allowed Him to put healing balm on my soul through a whisper to my heart.
Do we trust Him? Then let us turn to Him with all our hearts- He is there arms stretched out waiting...
The Cross a perfect picture of our loving God arms outstretched waiting to embrace ME and YOU.
Shalom
Jessi
Monday, April 7, 2008
Who am i?
recently diagnosed with a mental illness i am learning to walk with Jesus in this Truth. so long i have been hiding- afraid- in darkness... mental illness is so often confused with someone being 'bad' or 'weird'... instead of truthfully being an illness. like diabetes. i have a mental disorder my brain does not cooperate with my heart and without medication my brain manages to wig out causing emotions to rail and anxiety to peak... (family life gets pretty sticky when you can't stand yourself) shame has kept me from talking and still does to some extent about my illness- yet it is so needful for people who struggle with a mental illness to know that others struggle as well and that Jesus cares... and can walk us into the Light if we are willing to humble ourselves and receive help...He is our all and all...our everything and He longs to be welcomed into our hurts and fears... so He can set us free....
Being a christian doesn't mean perfection or being free from pain and suffering... but it does mean having the Creator of the universe on your side.. and if He is for you who can stand against you and win? and as far as being perfect- no way that will happen this side of heaven but that was never the point of Christ coming- that is the beauty of grace- grace whispers, "you are forgiven, you are loved" when we/i am utterly unlovable and as prickly as a porcupine... who am i to deserve to be called a christian and identified with the King of Kings...? no one special and yet He readily calls me Beloved and calls me His Girl unashamedly. in moments when i am particularly ugly and unchristian like is when i am most aware of the unmistakingly amazing love of God.
i abide in Your Grace,
forever i will remain in Your hands
not by works or by might
not by intelectual knowledge
but by Your blood shed for me
on the Cross
my life you bought..
purchased -
payed for
i belong to You
You are the Key Bearer-
You have full access to my heart...
i love you Lord...
i am Your Beloved and You are mine...
Being a christian doesn't mean perfection or being free from pain and suffering... but it does mean having the Creator of the universe on your side.. and if He is for you who can stand against you and win? and as far as being perfect- no way that will happen this side of heaven but that was never the point of Christ coming- that is the beauty of grace- grace whispers, "you are forgiven, you are loved" when we/i am utterly unlovable and as prickly as a porcupine... who am i to deserve to be called a christian and identified with the King of Kings...? no one special and yet He readily calls me Beloved and calls me His Girl unashamedly. in moments when i am particularly ugly and unchristian like is when i am most aware of the unmistakingly amazing love of God.
i abide in Your Grace,
forever i will remain in Your hands
not by works or by might
not by intelectual knowledge
but by Your blood shed for me
on the Cross
my life you bought..
purchased -
payed for
i belong to You
You are the Key Bearer-
You have full access to my heart...
i love you Lord...
i am Your Beloved and You are mine...
Friday, April 4, 2008
Follow Him
Following Jesus can be such a challenge to my selfishness... at all times it means being willing to give it all... to surrender my all...
to not be scattered to my own efforts but rather to be in intimate union with God and thereby bringing everything i learn in my intimacies out into the open by practicing that which i learn daily... living by faith... and walking in love...
but so often instead i serve my own interests even forgetting what i have learned forgoing my training and doing what i please instead ..
Jesus, is not interested in trite religion but in me, in us and our Lord beckons us to love on Him and be loved... He knows what we have need of and longs to satisfy us- will we turn to Him or keep trying to do things our way?
'In my pain and in my joy draw me ever near Your heart-
till i hear it beat and know Your will...
i love you Lord- yet follow you imperfectly...
though Perfect Love beckons...
You shun me not-
You love me still...
always calling me, "Beloved,
Come away with me...
my love will restore your soul
fill you up-
make you whole..."
I am so sorry for the times when 'wait' is my answer
instead of a passionate pursuit...
and yet You woo me still...
Indeed i have met and tasted of Love,,,
and He is good...
" Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation. With joy you will draw from the wells of salvation..."
Isaiah 12:2-3
to not be scattered to my own efforts but rather to be in intimate union with God and thereby bringing everything i learn in my intimacies out into the open by practicing that which i learn daily... living by faith... and walking in love...
but so often instead i serve my own interests even forgetting what i have learned forgoing my training and doing what i please instead ..
Jesus, is not interested in trite religion but in me, in us and our Lord beckons us to love on Him and be loved... He knows what we have need of and longs to satisfy us- will we turn to Him or keep trying to do things our way?
'In my pain and in my joy draw me ever near Your heart-
till i hear it beat and know Your will...
i love you Lord- yet follow you imperfectly...
though Perfect Love beckons...
You shun me not-
You love me still...
always calling me, "Beloved,
Come away with me...
my love will restore your soul
fill you up-
make you whole..."
I am so sorry for the times when 'wait' is my answer
instead of a passionate pursuit...
and yet You woo me still...
Indeed i have met and tasted of Love,,,
and He is good...
" Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation. With joy you will draw from the wells of salvation..."
Isaiah 12:2-3
Being brave, ME ?
"Being brave is not about not being scared but having the courage to do something scary."
We all have a fear of some thing but we have to suck it up and face our fears with God's help. That is (some day).
I love the fact that people cheer me on when I am brave. But then I think, once its over, it wasn't really me that did anything, it was God, wasn't it? Yes, it was God. We some times think too much of ourselves and end up thinking it was us when it was really God.
love <><
Jaque!
We all have a fear of some thing but we have to suck it up and face our fears with God's help. That is (some day).
I love the fact that people cheer me on when I am brave. But then I think, once its over, it wasn't really me that did anything, it was God, wasn't it? Yes, it was God. We some times think too much of ourselves and end up thinking it was us when it was really God.
love <><
Jaque!
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