the beginning-Jessi

I owe everything I am and have to God's work in my life. With His help, like countless others, I have overcome many trials. Parents who divorced when I was 7- followed by sexual abuse, running away, excessive drinking, drugs, promiscuity, cutting, eating disorders and anything else self - destructive, probably.

By the time I was 18, I didn't like myself or others and I lived in a prison of a shame based- dysfunctional inner world... Trying to find a way out of the pain I married my husband (of now 11 years) ... hoping that by settling down I would finally be 'happy'. It didn't work! What followed instead were many hard years while I struggled to make things work in my world of pain. I shoved it all behind a 'super-mom' mask... and hurt many people along the way, especially those closest to me. It wasn't until I had an encounter with the Living Christ- that my life truly began. Jesus continues to deliver me through many different God happenings, from the prison of my past even now, on a daily basis...sometimes moment to moment. That was about four years ago.

Immediately after my encounter with Christ I had a desire to live for Him and to work full time in ministry. As I began to seek God's plans for my life He gave me opportunities to pour into the lives of young people- including teen moms (through Teen MOPS) and middle schoolers at my local church. Currently I am taking a break from ministry and focusing on homeschooling and recovery.

Needless to say- the most difficult challenge to overcome has been the mental and emotional pain of my past. After years spent feeling like I should be 'better' already I finally realize that I am (and always will be) in constant transformation and that the freedom I found in Christ is ONLY the beginning of my story- not the end!

My husband and I are continuing to work towards building a healthy marriage and family. God continues faithfully to bring us to wholeness- teaching us His ways, through His Word, and leading us gently by His Spirit. My three beautiful children all love God passionately and have seen His power to restore lives first hand! We home-school and enjoy life together- being silly and embracing life with all abandon to God. It is an adventure filled with MOUNTAIN TOP HIGHS and death valley lows... but the constant is GOD's presence and His love...His promise to never leave or abandon us.

I was recently diagnosed with a mental illness and now am learning to trust Jesus in the midst of the present storm. As always He is faithful to help me, teach me, heal me and guide me as I walk with Him day by day. Through it all He is HERE with me- ever faithful... through trying different meds and dealing with all the wacked out symptoms. I pray that you are blessed and encouraged as you read the posts... that you would know that real people with real problems can trust Jesus and call themselves christians- God chasers. Remember- no matter what you are going through, you are not alone! God is waiting to help you... He has a good plan for your life and He is BIG enough to help you through anything! Be Blessed-as you follow HIM!